the first trimester
In my next few posts, I’m going to make an attempt to objectively describe the last nine months. Objectively. Yeah, right. So, ok, it won’t be objective, but I guess since I’m describing this mainly for my own purposes, it doesn’t really matter, right?
In early June, we found out that I was pregnant. I distinctly recall looking at the little pink lines on the test, and handing it to AJ. He gave me a huge hug and kiss, and couldn’t seem to get the grin off his face. I was in slight shock… We had been trying to get pregnant since January and suddenly it was real. I remember we sat down immediately and prayed; we dedicated this baby to the Lord, and thanked Him for the blessing He had given us. I cried. AJ cried. And our journey began.
Two weeks later, we went to the gym and I started my normal workout routine, running to Led Zeppelin and trying to comprehend the fact that I was pregnant. Two minutes later, I started bleeding. I’ll never forget standing by the huge glass windows, trying to hide behind a fake ficus tree so no one would see me crying as I waited for AJ to walk me to the car. We immediately called my doctor, who told us to come in the next day for an ultrasound. I was a wreck the entire night, thinking for sure that I had miscarried.
The next day AJ drove me to the doctor’s office, and I tried to hold it together as we waited amongst the other pregnant women. “Will I ever be that big?” I thought. “Will I be able to drive myself home if I find out I miscarried? When will we be able to start trying again?” My mind was a mess, but I think I looked fairly composed (let me think that, ok?). Fifteen minutes later, we saw a tiny lima bean with a bright light blinking inside of it; at six weeks old, our baby was well and alive, and it’s heart was beating strongly. We never found out why I bled like that, but boy, was it scary.
Up until this point I hadn’t really noticed any physical changes, and I was starting to think that I was one of the lucky few who wouldn’t get morning sickness… Wishful thinking, Sue, wishful thinking! One day at work, at about 10:30, I noticed that I felt this weird combination of feeling hungry and sick at the same time. That feeling became my constant enemy for the next several months, calming down only if I ate little snacks throughout the day. But I only threw up three times, each time after eating something like red sauce, and after I brushed my teeth. For some weird reason, brushing my teeth would make me gag to the point where I would lean against the sink, stare myself in the mirror, and say, “Don’t throw up, Sue. Don’t give in. Don’t give in.” I would hear AJ in the background, cheering me on, “Keep it down, Sue! You can do it!” Which of course would make me laugh, and that helped me (most of the time) to psych myself out of vomiting.
I ate a lot of bagels, plain pasta, peanut butter crackers, saltines, and toast. Not really so different from my normal diet, but whatever 
We told my family when I was only 9 weeks pregnant; I had planned to go to Boston anyway, and this trip coincided with my pregnancy. I had each family member call AJ (he had stayed in AZ due to work) and he broke the news to them on the phone. Of course, my mother and sister promptly hung up on AJ and gave their attention to me, which I hope he wasn’t too offended at!
We told AJ’s family when I was 11 weeks, at a family gathering. I had bought a tank top and ironed on a patch that said “Baby on Board”. AJ’s mother, Lynn, screamed so loudly that I started crying! Everyone was really surprised and excited for us, which was great. Funny how I thought for sure everyone would’ve guessed… didn’t they notice my shirts were snug? or that I wasn’t drinking any wine? or that my boobs were a little big? Nope. No one had a clue. Of course, part of that could be owed to the fact that AJ had blatantly lied to several of them
Over all my first trimester was filled with a slight anxiety, waiting to tell people until it was considered “safe,” till I my chances of miscarrying were really low. It was also surreal, because, while I was nauseous, exhausted and moody, I didn’t really FEEL or look pregnant – something soon to change.
